After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get out a new book by him each year.

You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.

I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.

If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.

If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.

The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born. We are constantly remarking on the fact that things are done well by people other than ourselves. "The Japanese are a remarkable little people," we say, as if we were doing them a favor. "He is an Arab, but you ought to hear him play the zither." Why "but"?