After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get out a new book by him each year.

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.

All that a spectator gets out of the game is fresh air, the comical articles in his program, the sight of twenty-two young men rushing about in mysterious formations, and whatever he brought in his flask.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.