After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get out a new book by him each year.

What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.

There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't.

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.