You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

Next to an old-fashioned church social, or possibly a monster bridge party, there is no buzz which can equal the sibilant buzz ofa matinée.

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't.

What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.

A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.

Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.