It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.

I am both a public and a private school boy myself, having always changed schools just as the class in English in the new school was taking up Silas Marner, with the result that it was the only book in the English language that I knew until I was eighteen--but, boy, did I know Silas Marner!

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number of characters which clutter up the pages. The Russian school is responsible for this.

The Great Arizona Desert is full of the bleaching bones of people who waited for me to start something.

There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes and those who do not.