This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born. We are constantly remarking on the fact that things are done well by people other than ourselves. "The Japanese are a remarkable little people," we say, as if we were doing them a favor. "He is an Arab, but you ought to hear him play the zither." Why "but"?

One of the chief duties of the fan is to engage in arguments with the man behind him. This department of the game has been allowed to run down fearfully.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.