There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes and those who do not.

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.

But ice-crunching and loud gum-chewing, together with drumming on tables, and whistling the same tune 70 times in succession, because they indicate an indifference on the part of the perpetrator to the rest of the world in general, are not only registered on the delicate surfaces of the brain but eat little holes in it until it finally collapses or blows up.

It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.

If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge.

The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success.

A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to button the top button, failing vision, shortness of breath, a tendency of the collar to shut off all breathing, trembling of the kidneys to whatever tune the orchestra is playing, and a general sense of giddiness when the matter of rent is brought up. Forty is Life's Golden Age.