The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

The discovery of phobias by psychiatrists has done much to clear the atmosphere. Whereas in the old days a person would say: 'Let's get the heck out of here!' today she says: 'Let's get the heck out of here! I've got claustrophobia.

All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.

The Ultimate Day really begins the night before, when you sit up until one o'clock trying to get things into trunk and bags. This is when you discover the well-known fact that summer air swells articles to twice or three times their original size.

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge.

My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.