The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success.
Robert BenchleyThe surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldnโt make any sense if quoted as it stands. The average man ought to be allowed a quotation of no less than three sentences, one to make his statement and two to explain what he meant. Ralph Waldo Emerson was about the only one who could stand having his utterances broken up into sentence quotations, and every once in a while even he doesnโt sound so sensible in short snatches.
Robert BenchleyIn a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.
Robert BenchleyThe Great Arizona Desert is full of the bleaching bones of people who waited for me to start something.
Robert Benchley