All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.

Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.