The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success.

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success.

There is probably no moment more appalling than that in which the tongue comes suddenly upon the ragged edge of a space from which the old familiar filling has disappeared.

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.

There are two ways to travel, first class or with children.

There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.