If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.
Robert BenchleyIn a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.
Robert BenchleyOther men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off.
Robert BenchleyAn ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
Robert BenchleyConsider the number of young people all over the world who are getting married, day in and day out, for no other reason than thatsomeone of the opposite sex looks well in a green jersey or sings baritone, and then tell me that divorce has reached menacing proportions. The surface of divorce has not even been scratched yet.
Robert Benchley