Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.