Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.

One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.

England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example.

This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as "regulations" but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.