The discovery of phobias by psychiatrists has done much to clear the atmosphere. Whereas in the old days a person would say: 'Let's get the heck out of here!' today she says: 'Let's get the heck out of here! I've got claustrophobia.

All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.

Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.

There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

There seems to be a common strain of miserliness in the American people when it comes to throwing away toothpaste tubes which havea little left in the bottom.