Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.

Magic--that's just a label, you know. Completely meaningless. It wasn't so very long ago that people were saying that electricity was magic.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

Everything in this business makes sense, because it serves a real purpose, fills a need that's a part of living. Even a single nail, like this one, fulfills a function. Drive it into a crucial place and you can depend on it to do a job, keep on doing it for a hundred years to come. Long after we're dead and gone, both of us.

So I had this problem -- work or starve. So I thought I'd combine the two and decided to become a writer.

People hear that I am a horror writer and they think that I must be a monster, but actually I have the heart of a small child - I keep it in a jar on my desk.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.