It's a safe bet that someone who tells you you need to calm down has never actually seen you when you needed to calm down.

The best solution seldom requires that someone be right and someone else be wrong.

There is no tomorrow. There is only a planet turning on its axis, and a creature given to optimistic fancies.

So often the shortest distance to happiness is the length of an about-face.

In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families - that they are least two-thirds incontinent.

A cat, after being scolded, goes about its business. A dog slinks off into a corner and pretends to be doing a serious self-reappraisal.

Those who avoid the tough choices of life, live a life they never chose.