No one complains of being a prisoner of love who has ever been a prisoner of loneliness.

As a general guideline, never marry anyone that you can't picture helping you go to the bathroom.

Is it my imagination, or does shipping and handling settle a box of crackers more than it used to?

If it doesn't work horizontally as prose... it probably won't work any better vertically pretending to be poetry.

Be the master of your fate, be the captain of your soul, but do not hesitate, should the chance befall you, to be the slave of your heart.

Charisma is not so much getting people to like you as getting people to like themselves when you're around.

At the end of the day, Mother Nature has only one question for us: 'What life did you nurture today?