On rides you see things that trigger ideas. And most the time it's just not doing anything but riding ... letting it all go.

There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus.

The Chinese had accused the Tibetans of being terrorists, which is weird. A Tibetan terrorist is like an Amish hacker. It just doesn't fit.

If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

Texting and driving at the same time is like jerking off and juggling at the same time. Too many balls in the air, if you catch my drift.