Sometimes with a comedy it's just having the instinct of how real you play it and what level you want it.

Men may have wars, but women have their period. Men go off and kill each other, but women say nasty things, which is even better.

I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.

Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'

A Pentagon official once said the people who would actually push the button probably have never seen a person die. He said the only hope -and it's a strange thought - is if they put the button to launch the nuclear war behind a man's heart. The President, then, with a rusty knife, would have to cut out the man's heart, kill the man, to get to the button.

My favorite thing to do is ride a bicycle. I ride road bikes. And for me, it's mobile meditation.

Ballet: men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.