You're best when you're not in charge. The ego locks the muse.

If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem.

I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."

I was in Iraq, Afghanistan, Djibouti, Bahrain. The first year I went pretty much by myself. Then I went with General [Richard] Myers, head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. The shows and audiences were amazing. You'll never get a better group of people.

Texting and driving at the same time is like jerking off and juggling at the same time. Too many balls in the air, if you catch my drift.

The dramas for me allow me to explore more behavioral, deeper psychological things. But the comedies obviously allow me to explore the idea of really working off other people. I'm having more fun doing that.

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'