You're best when you're not in charge. The ego locks the muse.

What is this demilitarized zone? Whatever it is, I like it! Gets you on your toes better than a strong cup of cappuccino.

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.

I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.

Change is not popular; we are creatures of habit as human beings. 'I want it to be the way it was.' But if you continue the way it was there will be no 'is.'