You're best when you're not in charge. The ego locks the muse.

Gentlemen, haven't we learned anything from the music of John Lennon? All we need is love.

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus.

Even evangelicals realize that Pinocchio's father was a carpenter too. That's the old joke.

Keith Richards is the only man who can make the Osbournes look Amish.

What's my credibility? Why are they looking to me for advice? Isn't there someone more qualified?

I'm fascinated by the new iPhone. I bought it and kept trying to use it in France. "Siri, what is a good restaurant?" (In a robotic voice.) "I'm sorry, Robin. I can't give locations in France." "Why, Siri?" "I don't know." It's like she was upset with the French or something. "They seem to have an attitude I can't understand. Should I look for Germans, Robin?"