She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other

Honey, you [Michael Jackson] gotta pick a race first. All of a sudden you're a black man, then you're Diana Ross, now you're Audrey Hepburn. Then he's got the little beard going on. He's like Lord of the Rings, the entire cast. Michael's about to jump species.

Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying "I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award." The other is "You want fries with that?".

I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.

Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full."

On rides you see things that trigger ideas. And most the time it's just not doing anything but riding ... letting it all go.

To be free. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world.