2020. There'll be cold fusion. We'll actually be able to power our cars with our own feces. That's right. The emissions problem will be a little intense, but just light a match.

I have no desire to go anywhere near drugs. People say, "Aren't you tempted?" No, because of the ridiculousness of it.

There are times when life's just real quiet and simple. I sometimes get tired of people saying, "Well, what are you really like?"

Comedy is there to basically show us we fart, we laugh, to make us realize we still are part animal.

It's the same sex all the time.

If I ever asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked a woman and been totally vulnerable.

Good people end up in Hell because they can't forgive themselves.