Change is not popular; we are creatures of habit as human beings. 'I want it to be the way it was.' But if you continue the way it was there will be no 'is.'

Taking Viagra after open heart surgery is like a Civil War re-enactment with live ammo. Not good.

Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly.

That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved.

I did an event in Washington, and it was like we lifted a sea.Immediately after [9/11], there was a stunned shock - kind of this feeling of "What do we do now?" I started performing, and there was a catharsis in the laughing. People started to be able to laugh again. Laughter can be many things - sometimes a medicine, sometimes a weapon, depending on.

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker.

We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near you