On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested.

I know size can be daunting but don't be afraid.

I was once on a German talk show, and this woman said to me, 'Mr. Williams, why do you think there is not so much comedy in Germany?' And I said, 'Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?'

I learned that by being entertaining you make a connection with another person.

My comedy is like emotional hang-gliding.

Ronald Reagan is the world's largest Muppet.

Death - to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.