On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested.

Finding a good script is really difficult and the scariest thing of all is when they say about a script that's not right, "we will fix it.." It's like before you get on the Titanic and you see a big hole. In process, it's too late.

Freud: If it's not one thing, it's your mother

I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, "I'm in here when you're walking around like that?"

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

The Second Amendment! It says you have the right to bear arms, or the right to arm bears, whatever the hell you want to do!

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.