Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.

Compassionate conservative. I don't know what that is, it sounds like a Volvo with a gun rack.

After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus.

For a while you get mad, then you get over it.

If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

There was an old, crazy dude who used to live a long time ago. His name was Lord Buckley. And he said, a long time ago, he said, 'People--they'r e kinda like flowers, and it's been a privilege walking in your garden.' My love goes with you.