You're still young. Being a true loser takes years of inaptitude

I'm an Episcopal, which is Catholic Lite. It's like same religion, half the guilt.

If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go "What happens if you take two?"

Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time...

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.

One day [when I relapsed] I walked into a store and saw a little bottle of Jack Daniel's. And then that voice - I call it the 'lower power' - goes, 'Hey. Just a taste. Just one.' I drank it, and there was that brief moment of 'Oh, I'm okay!' But it escalated so quickly. Within a week I was buying so many bottles I sounded like a wind chime walking down the street.

If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem.