We're dealing with fundamentalists... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. And, if you're ever in Amish country and you see a man with his hand buried in a horse's ass, that's a mechanic. Remember that.

You're still young. Being a true loser takes years of inaptitude

Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem, you face it like a man.

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

I was a serious method actor until I visited this site.

Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.