We're dealing with fundamentalists... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. And, if you're ever in Amish country and you see a man with his hand buried in a horse's ass, that's a mechanic. Remember that.

Mr. Keating: Carpe Diem! Sieze the day!

I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, "I'm in here when you're walking around like that?"

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn't have become teachers.

Comedy is there to basically show us we fart, we laugh, to make us realize we still are part animal.

With a bike you go from zero to a hundred in terms of mobility.

Make your life spectacular, I know I did.