Kid, if You Need Booze or Drugs to Enjoy Your Life to the Fullest, You're Doing It Wrong.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's 5:00 in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time."

Terrible wars have been fought where millions have died for one idea - freedom. And it seems that something that means so much to so many people would be worth having.

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.