I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, "I'm in here when you're walking around like that?"

You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to.

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

I did an event in Washington, and it was like we lifted a sea.Immediately after [9/11], there was a stunned shock - kind of this feeling of "What do we do now?" I started performing, and there was a catharsis in the laughing. People started to be able to laugh again. Laughter can be many things - sometimes a medicine, sometimes a weapon, depending on.

There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.

I couldn't imagine living the way I used to live. Now people come up to me from the drug days and go, 'Hi, remember me?' And I'm going, 'No, did I have sex with you? Did I take a dump in your tool box?'

Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny.