The idea of having a steady job is appealing.

My favorite is when you go to Afghanistan and you meet the special forces guys, and they look like these heavily armed surfers. These guys are the best. You see guys dressed as full Afghans, but then wearing a Yankees hat.

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'

Comedy is acting out optimism.

Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.

The only weapon we have is comedy.