You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

Taking Viagra after open heart surgery is like a Civil War re-enactment with live ammo. Not good.

Ever since my children were born, the moment I looked at them I was crazy about them. Once I held them I was hooked. I am addicted to my children sir. I love them with all my heart and the idea of someone telling me I can't be with them, I can't see them everyday. Well, it's like someone saying I can't have air.

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's 5:00 in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time."

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.