Taking Viagra after open heart surgery is like a Civil War re-enactment with live ammo. Not good.

Montovani? They play Montovani to insomniacs that don't respond to strong drugs

To make fun of an administration, to make fun of anything, Mark Twain said, is the last defense of democracy.

Comedy is there to basically show us we fart, we laugh, to make us realize we still are part animal.

There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.

Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public.

The Second Amendment! It says you have the right to bear arms, or the right to arm bears, whatever the hell you want to do!