You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to.

And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!

My God, look at the size of this man! Quick! Tell the other villagers we're going back to the boats!

As intellectual as we think we are, you still trip, we still have human foibles, sexuality, all the different things to still make you aware of your humanity.

My childhood was lonely. Both my parents were away a lot, working, and the maid basically raised me. And I think that's where a lot of my comedy comes from. Not only was the maid very funny and witty, but when my mother came home I'd use humour to try and get her attention. If I made mommy laugh, then maybe everything would be all right. I think that's where it [my comedy] all started.

Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.

They're talking about partial nuclear disarmament, which is also like talking about partial circumcision - you either go all the way or forget it.