What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy gentlemen. If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.

I'm an Episcopal, which is Catholic Lite. It's like same religion, half the guilt.

When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in.

Keith Richards is the only man who can make the Osbournes look Amish.

"It's just literally being afraid. And you think, oh, [the alcohol] will ease the fear. And it doesn't." What was he afraid of? "Everything. It's just a general all-round arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety." He added, "For that first week you lie to yourself, and tell yourself you can stop, and then your body kicks back and says, no, stop later. And then it took about three years, and finally you do stop."

Go pump some neurons. Expand your craniums

Carpe per diem - seize the check.