Friends come in all sizes, take it from me! Golly gee, size doesn't matter, when you want some friendly patter from a pal who is true.

If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.

But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever.

Even evangelicals realize that Pinocchio's father was a carpenter too. That's the old joke.

You don't need cocaine! There's another way to get real high, and really mess your mind up, it's called marathon running!