No man is an island; but some are peninsulas.

If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem.

We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

It's that idea that you can have one drink - and no you can't. Within a week I was drinking heavily. It was so quick that even I was like, 'Wow.'

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn't have become teachers.

Comedy is acting out optimism.