No man is an island; but some are peninsulas.

I'm a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge.

Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full."

You're still young. Being a true loser takes years of inaptitude

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

I met Jonah Lomu. I never knew how huge he was. I felt like a peasant in a Godzilla movie. 'Quickly! Tell the other villagers! We go now!'

I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church.