What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees?

I love running cross-country...You come up a hill and see two deer going, 'What the hell is he doing?' On a track I feel like a hamster.

Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.

The Chinese had accused the Tibetans of being terrorists, which is weird. A Tibetan terrorist is like an Amish hacker. It just doesn't fit.

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

To make fun of an administration, to make fun of anything, Mark Twain said, is the last defense of democracy.