I can see it now: Osama bin Laden goes up to the pearly gates where George Washington comes out, starts beating him and is then joined by 70 other members of the Continental Congress. Osama will say, Hey, wait! Where are my 71 virgins? And George will reply It's 71 Virginians, you asshole!

Oh, no. To live... to live would be an awfully big adventure.

What's true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not.

There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.

Taking Viagra after open heart surgery is like a Civil War re-enactment with live ammo. Not good.

How much more can you give? Other than, literally, open-heart surgery onstage? Not much. But the only cure you have right now is the honesty of going, this is who you are. I know who I am.

You need a touch of madness, just enough that you don't become stupid!