When I'm riding my bicycle I feel like a Buddhist who is happy just to enjoy his mundane existence

Along with the Oscars, the Academy is giving out a green card.

Freud: If it's not one thing, it's your mother

I used food to make myself feel better, but I felt worse when I ate.

I was once walking in an airport and a woman came up to me and said, 'Be zany!'. That'd be like walking up to Baryshikov and going, 'Plie! Just do a plie! Do it! Do a releve right now! Lift my wife!'

Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's 5:00 in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time."

Carpe per diem - seize the check.