You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

I met Jonah Lomu. I never knew how huge he was. I felt like a peasant in a Godzilla movie. 'Quickly! Tell the other villagers! We go now!'

There are times when life's just real quiet and simple. I sometimes get tired of people saying, "Well, what are you really like?"

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying "I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award." The other is "You want fries with that?".