If you don't keep pushing the limits, you wake up one day and you're the "center square to block."

My comedy is like emotional hang-gliding.

Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that's going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks.

In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say 'Stop, or I'll say stop again.'

There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.

The things we fear the most have already happened to us.

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn't have become teachers.