You're going to the cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian

Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle." ?

Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life. A man must look inward to find his own answers.

There was an old, crazy dude who used to live a long time ago. His name was Lord Buckley. And he said, a long time ago, he said, 'People--they'r e kinda like flowers, and it's been a privilege walking in your garden.' My love goes with you.

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.

I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least Miss Right Now

When you have a great audience, you can just keep going and finding new things.