You're going to the cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.

It's cheaper to keep her.

Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.

Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt!

Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time...

The only weapon we have is comedy.