Please, don't worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting.

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.

Sometimes you can have a whole lifetime in a day and never notice that this is a beautiful as it gets.

For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see.

There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.

If you want to die, don't make a mistake and not quite kill yourself because the medical bills in America are hideous.