Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don't want to go to school anymore.

A human life is just a heartbeat in heaven.

Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public.

There's this thing called freebasing. It's not free, it costs you your home. It should be called 'homebasing'.

I don't practice anything. I spend time looking over ideas and then just get out and do it.

I can be trained, I can actually show you how intelligent I am, I can use a word like delicatessen and know what it means.

No man is an island; but some are peninsulas.