Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt!

Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full."

What's true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

Sometimes you can have a whole lifetime in a day and never notice that this is a beautiful as it gets.

I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.

After my training wheels, my first real bike was a Schwinn, and my first time out, I rode down a hill, didn’t know how to stop, and ran right into a tree. So, that was a nice experience ... like realizing, oh, there are brakes!