All the new people you meet, it's pretty amazing. The vampire needs new blood. And there is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful.

Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.

I only ever play Vegas one night at a time.

Here's the best birth control in the whole world, if you really, if you have no pills, if you have no diaphragm, if you have no other form of contraception. Use it for ladies, if he comes at you with that little thing in his hand, just laugh at it. They can't deal with it, OK, it'll be gone.

There's no shame in failing. The only shame is not giving things your best shot.

The only weapon we have is comedy.

Humor is a great defense, and an offense too. Usually the recipient isn't too happy about it, but the people around are laughing.