Comedy is there to basically show us we fart, we laugh, to make us realize we still are part animal.

Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.

Mr. Keating: Carpe Diem! Sieze the day!

Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.

I always wanted to play a big, black man, but that would cost too much make-up.

I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence.