People say that I'm a tree hugger, but I do a lot more than hug trees. I like having my drinking water without faecal matter, that's really nice. Or acceptable levels of strychnine. I'm an air breather, I've gotten used to that over the years.

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material

You’ve got to be crazy! It’s too late to be sane, too late. You’ve got to go full tilt bozo... ‘Cause you’re only given a little spark of madness... and if you lose that, you’re nothing

Along with the Oscars, the Academy is giving out a green card.

On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.