People say that I'm a tree hugger, but I do a lot more than hug trees. I like having my drinking water without faecal matter, that's really nice. Or acceptable levels of strychnine. I'm an air breather, I've gotten used to that over the years.

Before the Web, there was just one guy running around saying 'I KNOW!'

Seize the day. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold, and die.

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

With a bike you go from zero to a hundred in terms of mobility.

You might say he was one taco short of a combination platter.

Jamie Kilstein is amazing and I will be spreading the word. He has the spark that energized my conscience. We need more comedians kicking it hard the way he does every night