Being a famous print journalist is like being the best-dressed woman on radio.

We used to be hunter-gatherers, now we're shopper-borrowers.

My children give me a great sense of wonder. Just to see them develop into these extraordinary human beings.

Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.

Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle." ?

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material