Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.

I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.

There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.

We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near you

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

When I'm riding my bicycle I feel like a Buddhist who is happy just to enjoy his mundane existence

I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least Miss Right Now