We used to be hunter-gatherers, now we're shopper-borrowers.

Seize the day. Make your life extraordinary.

Ronald Reagan is the world's largest Muppet.

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.

Men may have wars, but women have their period. Men go off and kill each other, but women say nasty things, which is even better.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.