Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.

The human body was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area ?

Sometimes with a comedy it's just having the instinct of how real you play it and what level you want it.

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

I was once walking in an airport and a woman came up to me and said, 'Be zany!'. That'd be like walking up to Baryshikov and going, 'Plie! Just do a plie! Do it! Do a releve right now! Lift my wife!'

Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don't want to go to school anymore.

Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget.